Week 3: Cheer, Chastise, and Church-League Chaos — Prevenient Defense Edges Wesleyan Wideouts
Friendly trash talk, hearty high-fives, and a tight inter-league win for the Prevenient Defense of Melissa. Roger’s Untouchables lit up the scoreboard, Purdy good and Katie’s Touchtown Team carried the Prevenient side, and a few squads need to talk to their playbooks — kindly.
WESLEYAN WIDEOUTS987.76
PREVENIENT DEFENSE1,000.20Week 3: Cheer, Chastise, and Church-League Chaos — Prevenient Defense Edges Wesleyan Wideouts
Week 3 delivered the kind of church-league Sunday that makes you grin on the drive home. The Prevenient Defense of Melissa squeaked past the Wesleyan Wideouts of Melissa in the MFL Cup, 1,000.20 to 987.76 — a 12.44-point margin that felt like a long hymn and a short sermon. On the Wesleyan side, Roger’s Untouchables put up the week’s highest single-team output with a barnburner 162.76; that performance kept them perfect and set the tone for the whole weekend. Across the aisle, Purdy good (145.98) and Katie’s Touchtown Team (145.82) turned in heavyweight scores that helped the Prevenient side win the weekend aggregate.
We had a mix of deja vu and surprises: two undefeated squads in the Wesleyan Wideouts (Roger’s Untouchables and I’m Not Dead Yet) continue to make noise, while the Prevenient side’s depth carried them to the cup victory. Ryan’s Remarkable Team is still searching for answers after a rough 73.10 outing that left teammates offering consolation and coffee. Bench data for the usual confessionals wasn’t available, so we’ll keep the altar call for that one pending. Awards this week celebrate both the fireworks (Player of the Week) and the grind (Mustard Seed and Resurrection Awards) — all delivered with the warm, teasing spirit that keeps this league family together.
Week 3 honors are in.
Player of the Week: Roger's Untouchables (162.76). Player of the Week goes to Roger’s Untouchables (162.76). A thunderous team performance that kept them perfect and stole the headlines for the weekend. Mustard Seed Award: Ryan's Remarkable Team (73.10). Mustard Seed Award to Ryan's Remarkable Team (73.10). Low week, but still part of the fellowship — rally behind them, they’ll be back. Resurrection Award: America's Prayer Team (59.84). Resurrection Award to America's Prayer Team (59.84). A bright sign — whether it was a late spark or a tactical swap, it was enough to get noticed. Bench Confessional: No qualifying winner. Unavailable: ESPN roster data did not provide qualifying bench points. Loaves and Fishes: X Factor (76.02). Loaves and Fishes goes to X Factor (76.02). Not sure how the math worked in heaven’s favor, but somebody stretched the resources and fed the scoreboard.
Evidence on the board. Opinions in the booth.
- 01Roger's UntouchablesRoger’s Untouchables — Rank 1 (Power 85): A perfect 3-0 and the week’s high-scoring clinic at 162.76. Worship the box score.
- 02Purdy goodPurdy good — Rank 2 (Power 71.9): A heavyweight 145.98 that kept the Prevenient side humming. Consistent and confident.
- 03Katie's Touchtown TeamKatie's Touchtown Team — Rank 3 (Power 71.77): 145.82 and another reminder that Katie’s squad shows up when it counts.
- 04America's Prayer TeamAmerica's Prayer Team — Rank 4 (Power 66.4): 138.94 and the Resurrection nod — a tidy rebound and offensive pulse.
- 05Prevenient PuntersPrevenient Punters — Rank 5 (Power 61.8): 133.04 and still in the mix. A few plays away from feeling saintly.
- 06X FactorX Factor — Rank 6 (Power 61.3): 132.40 and the Loaves and Fishes award — miracles happen with enough grit.
- 07I'm Not Dead YetI'm Not Dead Yet — Rank 7 (Power 56.91): 126.78 and another 3-0. The name is the vibe and the results back it up.
- 08Red Zone KeithRed Zone Keith — Rank 8 (Power 54.85): 124.14 and steady play. Solid, respectable, and quietly dangerous.
- 09Bohemian NixBohemian Nix — Rank 9 (Power 53.61): 122.56 — stylish and capable, just missing the extra spark.
- 010Frostbite FormationFrostbite Formation — Rank 10 (Power 52.3): 120.88 and a winning record at 2-1. Cold name, warm results.
- 011 No Punt Intended No Punt Intended — Rank 11 (Power 51.69): 120.10 — spacing in the name, not the lineup; close games will decide their fate.
- 012Cross and Flame ThrowersCross and Flame Throwers — Rank 12 (Power 48.98): 116.62 and a 2-1 ledger. Fireworks potential if the roster aligns.
- 013Mike’s Goat LockerMike’s Goat Locker — Rank 13 (Power 45.32): 111.94 and flashes of life. Time to unlock a few more goats.
- 014Waynes world Waynes world — Rank 14 (Power 43.31): 109.36 and a 1-2 record. A little consistency would go a long way—friendly nudge.
- 015Team Snake EyesTeam Snake Eyes — Rank 15 (Power 38.77): 103.54 and still searching for the first win. Nobody’s laughing — just gentle ribbing and big plans.
- 016Ryan's Remarkable TeamRyan's Remarkable Team — Rank 16 (Power 15): 73.10 and 0-3. Tough stretch, but the locker room’s full of love (and coffee).
Sixteen teams. Sixteen verdicts.
Frostbite Formation
Frostbite Formation (120.88, 2-1) stayed chilly and collected a second win. Dependable scoring and a tidy record keep them in contention.
Roger's Untouchables
Roger's Untouchables (162.76, 3-0) delivered the week’s loudest statement. Flawless weekend and Player of the Week honors — keep passing the collection plate for praise.
Waynes world
Waynes world (109.36, 1-2) had a quieter weekend. One win on the board but the lineup needs a little pep to climb the standings.
Team Snake Eyes
Team Snake Eyes (103.54, 0-3) is still hunting for that first W. Friendly roast: three misses isn’t a curse, it’s an opportunity.
X Factor
X Factor (132.40, 1-2) put up a strong 132.4 and earned Loaves and Fishes recognition (76.02). Talent is present — now to turn it into consistent wins.
I'm Not Dead Yet
I'm Not Dead Yet (126.78, 3-0) continues to back up the bravado. Undefeated and annoying in the best possible way for opponents.
Mike’s Goat Locker
Mike’s Goat Locker (111.94, 1-2) showed flashes but needs more goats to unlock late-week scoring. Still plenty of season left.
No Punt Intended
No Punt Intended (120.10, 1-2) posted a respectable 120.1. The name’s dramatic spacing; the play should be cleaner than the typography.
Red Zone Keith
Red Zone Keith (124.14, 2-1) delivered solid production and a winning record. No drama, just red-zone results.
Prevenient Punters
Prevenient Punters (133.04, 1-2) scored well at 133.04. Record doesn’t reflect the ceiling — a few tweaks and they’re dangerous.
America's Prayer Team
America's Prayer Team (138.94, 2-1) earned a Resurrection Award (59.84) and turned in a 138.94 performance that kept them near the top of the board.
Purdy good
Purdy good (145.98, 2-1) carried the Prevenient side with a big 145.98. Reliable scoring and a leaderboard presence to be proud of.
Katie's Touchtown Team
Katie's Touchtown Team (145.82, 2-1) matched the big dogs with 145.82. Balance and timing have them poised for a deep stretch run.
Bohemian Nix
Bohemian Nix (122.56, 1-2) turned in a tidy 122.56. Stylish play but needs a touch more punch to flip the record column.
Ryan's Remarkable Team
Ryan's Remarkable Team (73.10, 0-3) had a rough week and picked up the Mustard Seed Award. The bench is cheering — and so are we; rematches await.
Cross and Flame Throwers
Cross and Flame Throwers (116.62, 2-1) posted a solid 116.62 and sit at 2-1. Flames are flickering — stoke them for next week.
“We came for fellowship and fantasy; left with bragging rights and a few good-natured jabs.”
— MFL QUOTE OF THE WEEK